Bhag Zummurad bhag!

20130817-125817.jpg Disclaimer: this piece is a witty jibe at the embarrassing hostage situation created by a junkie named Sikander in Islamabad city on thursday, it is not meant to offend anyone.

You know what “pitthu gol garam” and the way a cow goes down before slaughter, have in common? — The answer is Zumurad khan.

For those who are not familiar with “pitthu gol garam” let me explain. It is a game played between two teams in which one team has to dislodge a pile of stones stacked up, with the help of a tennis ball and then mound them back to their previous position by avoiding the opponent’s throw aimed at them. The natural reflex action taken while running and evading a hit from the ball was showcased live by a happy go lucky, Zummarad Khan. The only difference in this case was that he had to dodge a bullet from Ak 47 gun rather than a tennis ball, after he failed to grapple an armed man, Sikander, who had taken the city hostage for more than five hours.

Zummarud khan should thank his stars that the retard didn’t shoot him after he fell on ground like a cow going down just before slaughter on Eid ul Azha. All butchers must also take note of Sikander’s expertise at bringing down the burly zummurad Khan in a jiffy.

I won’t blame Mr. Khan to abandon his snugg tv lounge for this risky adventure, as i believe the law enforcement agencies lacked common sense to tame a trivial nincompoop who was brandishing his weapons with gay abandon in the heart of the country’s capital.

Only if the law enforcement agencies had seen more hollywood comedy flicks this circus would have been avoided. In the movie ‘Old school’ directed by the Hangover fame director Todd philips, the protagonist, Will Farrell accidentally shoots himself in his jugular by a tranquilliser gun which makes him unconscious. (Video link)

Considering the mayhem that unfolded later, a tranquilliser gun shot aimed at the wannabe terrorist by a sharp shooter or a snipper would have done the trick. Nonetheless PPP ‘s jiyala, Zummurd khan hogged the limelight for saving the day, albeit through his tactless antics.

In the process though, he showed a few facets of his personality to the world, which we did not know earlier:

1). He has poor rugby skills as he couldn’t bring a man down who was half his weight.

2). He has excellent reflexes and dancing abilities, considering his moves during the incident.

3). He believes in the literal meaning of the phrase — “taking something by the scruff of its neck”.

4). He has a deceptive physique, as he dumbfounded every one through his sprinting skills when the first gun shot was fired.

5). He is a foolhardy risk taker, who believes in destiny.

6). When in trouble, he scrams.

Having dodged the bullets so narrowly i wonder if Zamurud khan was simply lucky or was he just a brilliant player of “pitthu gol garam” in his childhood, either way at this juncture the maladroit Mr. Khan is basking in adulation for putting an end to a dragged hollywood adventure flick.